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What I'm attracted to can be found in men of all races: strong arms (sense of protection), a great smile, nice build (healthy), ambitious, passionate, a sense of humor—a touch of sarcasm helps—and a kind heart. My brothers never seemed to have an opinion as to the type of men I dated, and were only concerned with how each guy treated me. My dad has always been a quiet man, and his only insertion in conversations about my dating life: "Are you happy, ?

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The company found that, in 2014, white, Asian and Latino men all rated black women about 20 percent less attractive than the average woman, while black men rated them 1 percent attractive. White, Asian and Latino men rated us between 3 to 6 percent higher than average in 2014, while black men rated us 6 percent less attractive than the average woman.But the realities of dating, they were telling me, meant that their race was frequently held against them. I also felt like interracial dating was becoming more accepted.Non-black men who dated black women were so rare, they said, that they had given up hope of finding a serious relationship with someone of a different race. At least based on what I was seeing on Facebook and on TV, it didn’t seem so rare for black women to date non-black men anymore.There are more college-educated black women than men. And besides, I said, why don’t you guys just date men who aren’t black?

Black men are incarcerated at six times the rate of white men, they pointed out. The response came almost in unison: It was one of those moments that takes a privilege you never realized you had and doesn’t just make it visible, it makes it huge.

These women were smart and attractive and funny and vivacious.